I'm sitting here right now, as I'm sure much of the country is, watching the weather reports to see exactly where Hurricane Gustav is going to land tomorrow. New Orleans is evacuating as I write this, obviously loathe to repeat the tragedy of Katrina three years ago, and I am saying my prayers for the people on the Gulf coast, including sending up extra prayers for my friends, the Graebers, who live in Baton Rouge.
And out there in Atlantic, another tropical storm, Hanna, is churning away, and right now, they say it's possible that some of the winds from Gustav could come back and add strength to it. It's projected path, as of right now, is anywhere from the Florida east coast on up to Georgia or the Carolinas.
And there are people who say that global warming is not a problem?
In other news, closer to home, we're starting to settle into a routine with school. Well, as much of a routine as it's possible for us, the Lazurek Funny Farm, epitome of Unconventional Behavior, who put the "fun" in dysfunctional! J.P. jumped right into 3rd grade with no problem and has a new best buddy who is new to the school this year. The two of them are inseparable. Rebekah had to adjust to the changing of classes and the bell schedule in middle school, but that took all of about two days. I'm seeing a marked change in her when I pick her up in the afternoons. She talks about what is happening in school, what this teacher said and that teacher did that day, and the biggest miracle of all...she doesn't resist doing her homework quite as vigorously as she did last year! So far, she is showing an increased excitement about learning, and to a Super Nerd like me, that is the best thing I could hope for! She's also making new friends, and that is also something that I had been hoping that she would do right away.
Parenting Tip of the Day from the Witch and the Czech Pecker: We've talked about the many areas where the boundaries are fluid with us; however, there ARE some areas where we remain firm, and the boundaries we set are akin to a brick wall.
An example would be clothing. My commandment, regarding how my female spawn of Satan dresses, is, "Thou Shalt Not Dress Like a Hoochie Mama." Seriously. Some of the styles that are out there for girls her age are unbelievable. Now, I would certainly never want her to dress like a member of that Texas polygamy sect, either. That's just messed up. However, I once went to the mall and saw a couple of girls who couldn't have been older than 13 or 14 who had on more revealing clothing than the prostitutes that I saw on Bourbon Street the previous week. I sat there in the food court with my kids and thought to myself, "those mothers need to be slapped for letting them out of the house like that." Of course, it's always possible that the kids somehow snuck around the parental units in some way. Kids can be sneaky little jerks. Somebody had to drive them to the mall in the first place, though.
Another example is cutting school. Like most kids, there are times when they, "just don't FEEEEEEEL like going." Maybe they stayed up too late the previous evening watching something on television. Or they're feeling nervous about a test. Or they're just being plain lazy. Um, no. They are allowed so many absences per year, and they need those in case something comes up, such as...oh, I don't know...they really get sick and have to miss several days, maybe? Sorry. Laziness doesn't count as an illness. Goofing off doesn't count as an excused absence. Sorry, little spawns of Satan. Your mama is tough on this one.
There are other areas, but I threw in those examples to show that, while we are quite unconventional and seem to allow our kids a lot of freedoms in many areas, we still have our areas where we stand firm and say, "um, no, absolutely, positively no." Hey, we have to give them SOMETHING to hate us over from time to time, don't we?
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Friday, August 22, 2008
The Witch Has Returned
And school is in session! And there was much rejoicing. Yay!
When last the Witch left you, we were discussing the lady with the cloned puppies. What a loony. A couple of days later, the spawns of Satan left for Charleston with my mom, grandmother, sister, and niece. They spent a few days with them, then I drove down in my B.A.T. mobile. The kids and I then spent time with the darling Czech Pecker's dad who lives there. We browsed the Market, did a little shopping, and visited the Aquarium. On that Friday, the darling Czech Pecker himself joined us after work for the rest of the weekend.
THEN, it was back home to get ready for school. J.P. started on Monday, and he's already made some new friends. He also said that the priest talked to them about training to become altar boys, something he very much wants to do. I told him he might want to start watching his language. We'll see if it works.
Rebekah started her middle school career on Wednesday at a new school, St. Joseph's. The new routine is a bit overwhelming for her and will take some adjusting, but she is excited about her classes and her teachers. I think she will do well.
Parenting Tip of the Day from the Witch and the Czech: Homework...yes, you have to do it, and not at 10:00 at night. End of story. Yes, I will help and give you guidance. No, I won't do it FOR you. You don't learn a blasted thing that way. Yes, I do expect you to do your best work possible. No, I don't expect straight A's. Don't kill yourself and try to be such a perfectionist that you make yourself ill. Don't be a slackass, either. There IS a happy medium. Trust me. It's all a learning process, and learning can be fun. I'm nearly 40, and I'm still learning and having fun doing so.
When last the Witch left you, we were discussing the lady with the cloned puppies. What a loony. A couple of days later, the spawns of Satan left for Charleston with my mom, grandmother, sister, and niece. They spent a few days with them, then I drove down in my B.A.T. mobile. The kids and I then spent time with the darling Czech Pecker's dad who lives there. We browsed the Market, did a little shopping, and visited the Aquarium. On that Friday, the darling Czech Pecker himself joined us after work for the rest of the weekend.
THEN, it was back home to get ready for school. J.P. started on Monday, and he's already made some new friends. He also said that the priest talked to them about training to become altar boys, something he very much wants to do. I told him he might want to start watching his language. We'll see if it works.
Rebekah started her middle school career on Wednesday at a new school, St. Joseph's. The new routine is a bit overwhelming for her and will take some adjusting, but she is excited about her classes and her teachers. I think she will do well.
Parenting Tip of the Day from the Witch and the Czech: Homework...yes, you have to do it, and not at 10:00 at night. End of story. Yes, I will help and give you guidance. No, I won't do it FOR you. You don't learn a blasted thing that way. Yes, I do expect you to do your best work possible. No, I don't expect straight A's. Don't kill yourself and try to be such a perfectionist that you make yourself ill. Don't be a slackass, either. There IS a happy medium. Trust me. It's all a learning process, and learning can be fun. I'm nearly 40, and I'm still learning and having fun doing so.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
The Saga of the Dog Cloning Woman Continues...
They say that fact is often stranger than fiction, and this certainly is a story where that is the case. The cloned puppies don't even figure into it, unless you consider the fact that somebody who would clone Booger must be a little off in the head. Incidentally, my favorite line in that article is the last one, '"She's ugly as sin now," he said. "But, sure enough, that's her."'
Okay, speaking of dogs, there is a program on television about pet-friendly cities, and they are talking about New York City now. The darling Czech Pecker said, "I guess you were right when you said that New York was dog friendly!" Well, OF COURSE, I was right. I possess mad observation skills, and I always notice dogs and their people everywhere I go. New York impressed me.
Today's Parenting Tips from the Witch and the Darling Czech Pecker: I want to add a clarification to something I wrote a few days ago about the language thing. There ARE limits to what the darling Czech Pecker and I will allow. For example, there is a difference between a mere curse word and a word with derogatory meaning toward one's ethnic, racial, sexual, etc. background. If they want to call each other dumbass, then fine, but we don't want to hear words that have a deeper mean meaning, like "retarded" or "fag." So, yes, our boundaries with them are fluid, as I mentioned earlier, but boundaries we do have, and at times, the spawns of Satan will bounce up against them. The darling Czech Pecker and I may be rather unconventional and somewhat liberal in our child-rearing practices compared to some other parents, but we do have our limits, too, and we stand firm when the spawns try to test those limits. And then we hit the liquor cabinet for fortification afterward!
Okay, speaking of dogs, there is a program on television about pet-friendly cities, and they are talking about New York City now. The darling Czech Pecker said, "I guess you were right when you said that New York was dog friendly!" Well, OF COURSE, I was right. I possess mad observation skills, and I always notice dogs and their people everywhere I go. New York impressed me.
Today's Parenting Tips from the Witch and the Darling Czech Pecker: I want to add a clarification to something I wrote a few days ago about the language thing. There ARE limits to what the darling Czech Pecker and I will allow. For example, there is a difference between a mere curse word and a word with derogatory meaning toward one's ethnic, racial, sexual, etc. background. If they want to call each other dumbass, then fine, but we don't want to hear words that have a deeper mean meaning, like "retarded" or "fag." So, yes, our boundaries with them are fluid, as I mentioned earlier, but boundaries we do have, and at times, the spawns of Satan will bounce up against them. The darling Czech Pecker and I may be rather unconventional and somewhat liberal in our child-rearing practices compared to some other parents, but we do have our limits, too, and we stand firm when the spawns try to test those limits. And then we hit the liquor cabinet for fortification afterward!
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
The Dog Clones
I just read an article that strikes me as so wrong on so many levels that I just don't know where to start. It seems that there is a company in South Korea that is touting itself as the first successful canine cloning service, and their first success is a litter of Booger's puppies. Okay, after I got over my inner 12-year-old snickering over sentences in that article like, "Booger is back" and "...when she saw the cloned Boogers...," I started thinking about the ways in which this struck me as wrong, and without going into a detailed theological, moral, and ethical discussion here, my main thoughts were, not necessarily in this order:
1--Isn't this a bit like playing God?
2--Even if one is not prone to religious belief, there is still the question of whether the cloned animal is identical to the original. Sure, its DNA is identical, but what about the dog's spirit? There is no way to clone that. If I decided to clone Dougal or Sitka, I might end up with puppies that LOOK identical to Dougal and Sitka, but they wouldn't really BE Dougal and Sitka. They would not possess the same spirit and soul as Dougal and Sitka.
3--It's just messing with the natural order of things. I still miss my dear pets who have passed on, but cloning them would not bring them back. See #2.
4--What would St. Francis of Assisi say?
5--The woman paid $50,000 to clone Booger. Think of how much GOOD that money could have done, in Booger's memory, to any number of shelters. Booger was a Pit bull. She could have rescued a Pit bull or three, and given the money to Pit bull rescue.
Well, I suppose it's her money to dispose of however she wishes, but it strikes me as so delusional. And I thought I was bad over my pets!
Today's Parenting Tip from the Mountain Witch and Her Darling Czech Pecker: Well, since I'm on the subject of animals, I suppose I'll go in that direction. I think a lot of people will agree with me that kids and pets just belong together. Sometimes, I'll hear stories of major asshattery from friends and acquaintances who work or have worked in cat and dog rescue of people who are ready to turn that beloved and loyal furry companion in to a shelter as soon as the EPT test comes back with two lines indicating that a human baby will be joining the family. Suddenly, Kitty or Fido are no longer considered important members of the family. In my opinion, this is a heinous way to act and lowers one's human dignity. While I understand that circumstances may arise once the baby is here that necessitate finding a new GOOD home for Kitty or Fido, such as discovering the baby has severe allergies, merely finding out that one is knocked up is not good enough. Kitty and Fido can be prepared for the new addition, and they often make superb older "siblings." When I found out I was expecting my oldest spawn of Satan, Rebekah, and I started to show, my cat, Boo Kitty, who had always slept at the foot of our bed, suddenly started sleeping curled up next to my abdomen. He seemed to sense what was happening. He was fascinated with Rebekah once she arrived, and he loved to spend time with her...until she opened her mouth to wail. Then he would take off like a bat out of hell to hide under the bed or in a closet. Many were the days that I desired to join him.
At any rate, my mom now raises Siberian Huskies, and I have several of the snow dogs myself. My snow dogs are all spayed and neutered, but my mom breeds hers. They are not cloned, either! As you might imagine, life becomes quite lively at her house, especially around whelping time or when any of the females go into heat. And THIS is what brings up my main topic for today...what my kids, now 11 and nearly 9, have witnessed. I know a few folks who are very strict and think it would be "inappropriate" and "gross" to allow their precious darlings to witness a female dog giving birth. It brings up any number of questions, don't you know. However, my children have asked to be present, and yes, I have allowed it. And you know what? Not only are they not scarred from the experience, they have benefitted from helping out in numerous ways, by running errands for my mom, by getting fresh water for the laboring mom, and if a newborn puppy crawls too far away from its mama, by helping it get closer to its food source. Husky moms are very gentle, and they know us well, so they allow us to handle their pups, even from the beginning. The kids know how to handle the newborn pups as well as we adults do.
This has been a learning experience for the children, a chance to witness furry little miracles, to see the not-so-clean-and-pretty beginning and to appreciate the instincts and innate intelligence of the dogs we raise and love so very well. It adds another dimension to the kids' appreciation for the Huskies.
And as for the mating part, have they witnessed that? Well, yes, but it wasn't intentional. It's not like we said, "Hey kids! Let's go watch Prancer and Maya get it on!" Dogs, as we know, are not so particular about where they do the nasty. It's not as if they plan it out, deciding to rent a hotel room or anything. The male senses the female in heat, the female swishes her tale to lure the male to her, and then...well, you can guess the rest. Two of my mom's dogs, Prancer and Tasha, seem to have the exhibitionist streak in them. They will wait until they are OUTSIDE of the kennel, in the main yard, go down by the fence next to the road, then hook up, where anyone driving by can see them. So, as you can imagine, the kids have seen it. The first time J.P. saw this, he couldn't stop laughing, he said it looked so funny.
I agree. It IS rather funny business. And while I didn't add this thought to him, it's really quite a funny business for humans, too, when you stop and think about it!
1--Isn't this a bit like playing God?
2--Even if one is not prone to religious belief, there is still the question of whether the cloned animal is identical to the original. Sure, its DNA is identical, but what about the dog's spirit? There is no way to clone that. If I decided to clone Dougal or Sitka, I might end up with puppies that LOOK identical to Dougal and Sitka, but they wouldn't really BE Dougal and Sitka. They would not possess the same spirit and soul as Dougal and Sitka.
3--It's just messing with the natural order of things. I still miss my dear pets who have passed on, but cloning them would not bring them back. See #2.
4--What would St. Francis of Assisi say?
5--The woman paid $50,000 to clone Booger. Think of how much GOOD that money could have done, in Booger's memory, to any number of shelters. Booger was a Pit bull. She could have rescued a Pit bull or three, and given the money to Pit bull rescue.
Well, I suppose it's her money to dispose of however she wishes, but it strikes me as so delusional. And I thought I was bad over my pets!
Today's Parenting Tip from the Mountain Witch and Her Darling Czech Pecker: Well, since I'm on the subject of animals, I suppose I'll go in that direction. I think a lot of people will agree with me that kids and pets just belong together. Sometimes, I'll hear stories of major asshattery from friends and acquaintances who work or have worked in cat and dog rescue of people who are ready to turn that beloved and loyal furry companion in to a shelter as soon as the EPT test comes back with two lines indicating that a human baby will be joining the family. Suddenly, Kitty or Fido are no longer considered important members of the family. In my opinion, this is a heinous way to act and lowers one's human dignity. While I understand that circumstances may arise once the baby is here that necessitate finding a new GOOD home for Kitty or Fido, such as discovering the baby has severe allergies, merely finding out that one is knocked up is not good enough. Kitty and Fido can be prepared for the new addition, and they often make superb older "siblings." When I found out I was expecting my oldest spawn of Satan, Rebekah, and I started to show, my cat, Boo Kitty, who had always slept at the foot of our bed, suddenly started sleeping curled up next to my abdomen. He seemed to sense what was happening. He was fascinated with Rebekah once she arrived, and he loved to spend time with her...until she opened her mouth to wail. Then he would take off like a bat out of hell to hide under the bed or in a closet. Many were the days that I desired to join him.
At any rate, my mom now raises Siberian Huskies, and I have several of the snow dogs myself. My snow dogs are all spayed and neutered, but my mom breeds hers. They are not cloned, either! As you might imagine, life becomes quite lively at her house, especially around whelping time or when any of the females go into heat. And THIS is what brings up my main topic for today...what my kids, now 11 and nearly 9, have witnessed. I know a few folks who are very strict and think it would be "inappropriate" and "gross" to allow their precious darlings to witness a female dog giving birth. It brings up any number of questions, don't you know. However, my children have asked to be present, and yes, I have allowed it. And you know what? Not only are they not scarred from the experience, they have benefitted from helping out in numerous ways, by running errands for my mom, by getting fresh water for the laboring mom, and if a newborn puppy crawls too far away from its mama, by helping it get closer to its food source. Husky moms are very gentle, and they know us well, so they allow us to handle their pups, even from the beginning. The kids know how to handle the newborn pups as well as we adults do.
This has been a learning experience for the children, a chance to witness furry little miracles, to see the not-so-clean-and-pretty beginning and to appreciate the instincts and innate intelligence of the dogs we raise and love so very well. It adds another dimension to the kids' appreciation for the Huskies.
And as for the mating part, have they witnessed that? Well, yes, but it wasn't intentional. It's not like we said, "Hey kids! Let's go watch Prancer and Maya get it on!" Dogs, as we know, are not so particular about where they do the nasty. It's not as if they plan it out, deciding to rent a hotel room or anything. The male senses the female in heat, the female swishes her tale to lure the male to her, and then...well, you can guess the rest. Two of my mom's dogs, Prancer and Tasha, seem to have the exhibitionist streak in them. They will wait until they are OUTSIDE of the kennel, in the main yard, go down by the fence next to the road, then hook up, where anyone driving by can see them. So, as you can imagine, the kids have seen it. The first time J.P. saw this, he couldn't stop laughing, he said it looked so funny.
I agree. It IS rather funny business. And while I didn't add this thought to him, it's really quite a funny business for humans, too, when you stop and think about it!
Friday, August 1, 2008
I'm a Loser!
And that makes me very happy. Why, you ask? Because I have lost two dress sizes since the beginning of the summer! At this rate, I WILL make my goal of reaching my pre-pregnancy size before my 40th birthday in December! Two more sizes to go...Yippeeeee! And that has been without regular exercise. Since Summer and I don't get along, I tend to skip the exercise routine during the hot season and pick up again in Fall. I'm buying some new running shoes this weekend and will soon start running with my Huskies and working on my muscle tone. I will be hitting my 40s as a Fabulous Fruitcake rather than a fat one!
Parenting Tip of the Day from the Witch and the Darling Czech Pecker: Let's talk about language, and I'm not talking about English, Spanish, French, Russian...yes, we're talking about *whisper* cussing. Okay, I know that the darling Czech Pecker and I have a tendency to let fly with some colorful language at times. Now, I'm not going to say that it's right or wrong, it just IS. As a result, as you might imagine, the Spawns of Satan have picked up a phrase or two along the way. At first, we worked mightily to discourage it, and then it hit us...wow, how hypocritical to tell them not to say it when we still said things like, "what a dumbass!" (that's the darling Czech Pecker in traffic) or "well, shit fire and save the matches!" (that's me at just about anything). So, the logical thing was for us to try not to say such things, and that worked to a certain extent, but only so much.
I know what most people would say. The darling Czech Pecker and I are ADULTS and the Spawn are CHILDREN. I know, I know. But we are, after all, a most unconventional family, as most people have by now realized. And our Spawn, for all their faults--and they are many--know one thing: what they say and do at home does not necessarily transfer to what they say and do out in public and at school. So while I receive excellent reports from their teachers, and I've had people in restaurants commend me on my well-behaved children, The Lazurek Funny Farm at home often sounds like an episode of The Osbournes. Okay, maybe not THAT bad because we aren't as fond of the "f" bomb as they are. Our favorites tend to be "dumbass," "asswipe," "bunghole," "ass monkey," "bitch fit,"...okay, you get the picture.
One day in school in 1st grade, J.P. DID tell his teacher, during a discussion of the Ten Commandments, that his sister calls him "shit head" when she's mad at him and that he believes there is a commandment against that. His teacher had to turn her back to keep from bursting out laughing. And no, there is not a commandment against calling your brother a shit head when you're angry at him. I looked it up. In fact, there seems to be nothing in the Scriptures against cussing, so it's solely a social thing. I don't thing we're doomed to Hades or anything. At least for that...
Parenting Tip of the Day from the Witch and the Darling Czech Pecker: Let's talk about language, and I'm not talking about English, Spanish, French, Russian...yes, we're talking about *whisper* cussing. Okay, I know that the darling Czech Pecker and I have a tendency to let fly with some colorful language at times. Now, I'm not going to say that it's right or wrong, it just IS. As a result, as you might imagine, the Spawns of Satan have picked up a phrase or two along the way. At first, we worked mightily to discourage it, and then it hit us...wow, how hypocritical to tell them not to say it when we still said things like, "what a dumbass!" (that's the darling Czech Pecker in traffic) or "well, shit fire and save the matches!" (that's me at just about anything). So, the logical thing was for us to try not to say such things, and that worked to a certain extent, but only so much.
I know what most people would say. The darling Czech Pecker and I are ADULTS and the Spawn are CHILDREN. I know, I know. But we are, after all, a most unconventional family, as most people have by now realized. And our Spawn, for all their faults--and they are many--know one thing: what they say and do at home does not necessarily transfer to what they say and do out in public and at school. So while I receive excellent reports from their teachers, and I've had people in restaurants commend me on my well-behaved children, The Lazurek Funny Farm at home often sounds like an episode of The Osbournes. Okay, maybe not THAT bad because we aren't as fond of the "f" bomb as they are. Our favorites tend to be "dumbass," "asswipe," "bunghole," "ass monkey," "bitch fit,"...okay, you get the picture.
One day in school in 1st grade, J.P. DID tell his teacher, during a discussion of the Ten Commandments, that his sister calls him "shit head" when she's mad at him and that he believes there is a commandment against that. His teacher had to turn her back to keep from bursting out laughing. And no, there is not a commandment against calling your brother a shit head when you're angry at him. I looked it up. In fact, there seems to be nothing in the Scriptures against cussing, so it's solely a social thing. I don't thing we're doomed to Hades or anything. At least for that...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)