Snake's Alive!

Everyone is accustomed to hearing tales of my Tundra-bred canines, but I am also a fan of the feline furballs, too. We have four of the kitties roaming around our place, and they have definitely clawed a place into our homes and hearts.

Our three girls are Ariel, the grey tabby and matriarch of the feline family, Belle, the clever and capricious calico, and Jasmine, a sweet and loving solid black, long-haired girl. All prefer the "great outdoors" of our cul-de-sac region, and we leave our garage door open several inches so they can seek shelter from the elements and come in for a bite and a drink in between their Great Hunting Expeditions. The fourth member of our Feline Family is Biggles, a white male Persian, who is strictly the indoor type and who often thinks that he is a dog!

Our Girls encounter some crazy wildlife adventures in the Great Outdoors at times. Take the time that a family of birds decided to start their new family in a tree in our front yard. Okay, I don't know much about birds, so I cannot tell you what type they were, but they were FIERCE! So fierce that they intimidated the bejeezus out of poor Ariel. Imagine birds chasing a cat! I swear that it really happened. Over the course of several weeks while these birds nested in our front yard, Ariel's life was a living feline hell. One morning, the darling Czech Pecker walked out front to get into his car, and he saw Ariel in the center of the cul-de-sac, surrounded by a bird on four sides. Every time she tried to escape, the birds would close in on her, trying to peck at her head! Another day around that same time, she was trying to walk from our driveway to our sidewalk leading to the steps up to our porch, and the birds flew from their nest to peck at her while she tried to run into the house! That very weekend, we left town to visit Charleston, and my step-father, Robert, checked on our pets several times a day for us. At one point, he was standing on our front porch, and as he looked down our street, Ariel was running down the street, toward the house, with at least three birds chasing her! Poor kitty made it into the house, terrorized. To this day, we do not allow Alfred Hitchcock films in our house in deference to her.

Needless to say, we have received our share of gifts from The Girls, mainly in the form of field mice. I've learned to graciously accept these gifts and surreptitiously dispose of them at a later time, when the cats are napping or they are off on another hunt. One thing I have learned about cats and mice, though...they only chase and hunt them when THEY want to do it. After cleaning out the garage one day, a displaced field mouse decided to come into our house, into the kitchen. Sitting in my living room reading a book, I glanced up and saw the little bugger making its way nonchalantly across the floor, and I said, "Well, shit fire and save the matches...there's a mouse!" When I tried to send a cat after it, she looked at me as if I had three heads and proceeded to lick her butt. I learned my lesson. Cats only chase mice on their own terms. I don't know what ever happened to that little mouse. It disappeared into the laundry room, never to be seen again. I suspect it disappeared into that Void where the Lost Socks go.

The latest Wildlife Adventure with The Girls happened yesterday. Rebekah came in and said, "Mama, Jasmine is playing with something. It's kind of long and squiggly." I looked at her strangely.

"Excuse me?" I asked.

"Well, it's bigger than a worm, but it's smaller than a snake."

"What colour is it?"

"It's black. I think."

"You think."

"Um. Yeah."

It sounded to me like our youngest feline member had a baby snake. I walked out front to investigate. By this time, Jasmine was in the cul-de-sac, and the "squiggly thing" she had previously had in her mouth was beside her. It looked as if it was following her! And yes, folks, it was, indeed, a baby snake! I told Rebekah as much, and she proceeded to freak out. I rolled my eyes at her and told her to chill out. It was a garden snake and a baby one, at that.

Seconds after that, Jasmine had the snake back in her mouth and ran back toward our driveway with it, where she dropped it and proceeded to bat it around like a catnip toy. I thought for sure she had killed the little bugger since it wasn't moving at this point. After a few seconds, our ADD cat grew bored and moved on, finding something else to attract her attention. As soon as she was away, the snake uncoiled itself and took off like a bat out of hell, heading straight for the grass! When my mom heard the story, she asked, "Why didn't you kill it?!" Um, because it was a harmless garden snake? I mean, I'm not going to ask it in for tea or dinner, but I'm not going to kill a perfectly harmless, non-poisonous snake, either!

Today, the darling Czech Pecker mowed the front lawn. He didn't see any evidence of the baby snake or his family. I suppose they put it out on the snake network that the Lazurek Funny Farm is not a safe place to be for the reptile community. Between the dogs and the cats, there is no telling what might happen to them!