Maybe that's an exaggeration, but as I sit here and write this, there is a storm a'blowing out there. Ah, Spring is around the corner, it is. I'm sitting snug on my sofa, under my son's fleece John Deere blanket because my Kentucky blanket is in the dryer, dammit, with these two Shih Tzus huddled next to me like furry little rats. Scaredy cats. Kids are off to school, dropped off by the darling Czech Pecker, and the temptation to crawl back into bed and sleep for another hour or two is SO strong.
A few random thoughts for today:
The darling Czech Pecker is THE best husband in the world, even if I do plan our divorce at least once a month and get the urge to whack him across the head once a week. Please note: I never act on those urges.
I love my dogs, but why did they have to eat the taco kit yesterday?
My kids are funny and growing up to be smartasses just like their mom and dad. This makes me proud.
I am so excited about going to Atlanta on Friday with Rebekah to meet my friend Sunny and her daughters at American Girl and staying there Friday night to have a girls' night. I wish the other Heifers could join us.
I wonder how I should prepare that roast for dinner this evening?
They say I have ADD, but they don't understand. Oh look...there's a bird flying by my window!
I need to finish laundry. Not my favorite task.
It is nearly time to gather my courage and crawl out from under the blanket and face the work of the day. Such is the life of a Kept Woman!
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Saturday, February 23, 2008
My Sinless Son
Well, for a brief time he was, anyway. John Patrick and his classmates had their First Reconciliation on Thursday morning, and I would LOVE to have been a fly on the wall to hear the incredibly grave sins that these hardened juvenile delinquents had to Confess to the good Monsignor! As we parents sat there in the church, we watched child after child enter the room for Confession with looks of high anxiety on their faces and exit a few minutes later with large grins. We asked J.P. what he thought of it, and he answered, "It was fun!" Now, I never really thought of Confession as "fun," but it is certainly not the the hellfire and brimstone event that it used to be a generation ago. I went just two weeks ago, with the same priest, and it was a positive experience. If this same priest could make a 39 year old wife and mother feel better after the Sacrament, then he certainly could make a group of 2nd graders have a positive experience, and evidently he did.
Now, we are heading toward First Communion on April 13th! The next couple of months promise to be busy.
The dogs are acting like their usual canine selves. Yesterday, Skyy decided to slip out of her collar when we were getting out of the car after I took the kids to school. She took off like a bat out of Hell, and I was busy getting Mojo out of the car and walking him into the house. I called my mom and asked if Robert, my step dad, could help me chase the hyper Russian bitch down. As I was walking back out after I settled Mojo down, Robert called. Skyy had run straight up to my mom's house, about 1/4 mile away, and was standing by their fence when Robert walked outside, probably lured there by my mom's own pack of Siberian psychos, especially the males. See, I think Skyy is about ready to go into heat again soon. Oh joy. I told some friends that I think Prancer, my mom's Alpha Male, sends out a signal, kind of like the Bat Signal, in the sky, and my Skyy was answering it! Prancer is quite the studly Sibe with his striking red and white good looks, green eyes, and full mask.
Due to Skyy's super rowdy behavior, I have had to put my books out of her reach. Well, she's not the main culprit. Mojo is, with his puppy teething. I know that Byron loved his animals, too, but I really am not thrilled about my dogs trying to eat my Byron books. I do hope the poet, in his grave, understands the canine teeth marks marking his books.
I have one final remark this evening. Alchemy chocolate infused vodka is the ultimate sipping experience.
Now, we are heading toward First Communion on April 13th! The next couple of months promise to be busy.
The dogs are acting like their usual canine selves. Yesterday, Skyy decided to slip out of her collar when we were getting out of the car after I took the kids to school. She took off like a bat out of Hell, and I was busy getting Mojo out of the car and walking him into the house. I called my mom and asked if Robert, my step dad, could help me chase the hyper Russian bitch down. As I was walking back out after I settled Mojo down, Robert called. Skyy had run straight up to my mom's house, about 1/4 mile away, and was standing by their fence when Robert walked outside, probably lured there by my mom's own pack of Siberian psychos, especially the males. See, I think Skyy is about ready to go into heat again soon. Oh joy. I told some friends that I think Prancer, my mom's Alpha Male, sends out a signal, kind of like the Bat Signal, in the sky, and my Skyy was answering it! Prancer is quite the studly Sibe with his striking red and white good looks, green eyes, and full mask.
Due to Skyy's super rowdy behavior, I have had to put my books out of her reach. Well, she's not the main culprit. Mojo is, with his puppy teething. I know that Byron loved his animals, too, but I really am not thrilled about my dogs trying to eat my Byron books. I do hope the poet, in his grave, understands the canine teeth marks marking his books.
I have one final remark this evening. Alchemy chocolate infused vodka is the ultimate sipping experience.
Friday, February 15, 2008
The Aliens Returned My Children
Well, really, I never expected that they would keep the little spawns of Satan, did I? The calm lasted until Tuesday, then they were back to arguing like siblings, and Rebekah was back to being a sassy pre-teen, and J.P. was back to being an 8 year-old boy with an attitude. Ah, life in the Lazurek Funny Farm!
I think, however, that there are vestiges of the aliens still hovering around our abode.
For one thing, the dogs...oh dear. They are even more wound up than usual. I have looked for signs. Is there a full moon? Is Mercury in retrograde? Is a meteor hurtling speedily toward Earth? I have looked at what they eat. No changes in what I feed them. Did they break into the wine cabinet? Are any coffee beans missing? Have they been sniffing the kids' glue sticks?
One thing is certain...I love my dogs, but I am not a happy camper when they try to eat my Byron books. You see, I love Byron. I have a bookshelf full of Byron related books--his poetry, the full collection of his journals and letters, literary criticism, history of his era, literary relationships between Byron and Shelley and Byron and the Irish poet, Thomas Moore, stacks of articles printed from literary journals. And my dogs have tried to eat some of the books. No, I am not thrilled.
They also snatched a couple of Shakespeare plays, including MacBeth and Titus Andronicus. Yes, I do see the irony of their cannibalistic attack on the latter.
It might be a tad difficult to build bookshelves suspended from the ceiling, and I have a feeling that, being the Huskies that they are, they would merely find a ladder.
In other odd happenings, the darling Czech Pecker actually bought me a dozen roses for Valentine's Day. Wow...who woud have guessed he possessed any romantic sentiments? "Romantic," with a small "r," is not generally a word that describes either one of us! For example, my gift to him was an autobiography of Eric Clapton. I'm thinking that he might be possessed by something. I'm not sure what...I will have to watch closely.
Oh, and I found another wine to try. Cat Among the Pigeons. Couldn't resist the name, of course. It's Australian.
I think, however, that there are vestiges of the aliens still hovering around our abode.
For one thing, the dogs...oh dear. They are even more wound up than usual. I have looked for signs. Is there a full moon? Is Mercury in retrograde? Is a meteor hurtling speedily toward Earth? I have looked at what they eat. No changes in what I feed them. Did they break into the wine cabinet? Are any coffee beans missing? Have they been sniffing the kids' glue sticks?
One thing is certain...I love my dogs, but I am not a happy camper when they try to eat my Byron books. You see, I love Byron. I have a bookshelf full of Byron related books--his poetry, the full collection of his journals and letters, literary criticism, history of his era, literary relationships between Byron and Shelley and Byron and the Irish poet, Thomas Moore, stacks of articles printed from literary journals. And my dogs have tried to eat some of the books. No, I am not thrilled.
They also snatched a couple of Shakespeare plays, including MacBeth and Titus Andronicus. Yes, I do see the irony of their cannibalistic attack on the latter.
It might be a tad difficult to build bookshelves suspended from the ceiling, and I have a feeling that, being the Huskies that they are, they would merely find a ladder.
In other odd happenings, the darling Czech Pecker actually bought me a dozen roses for Valentine's Day. Wow...who woud have guessed he possessed any romantic sentiments? "Romantic," with a small "r," is not generally a word that describes either one of us! For example, my gift to him was an autobiography of Eric Clapton. I'm thinking that he might be possessed by something. I'm not sure what...I will have to watch closely.
Oh, and I found another wine to try. Cat Among the Pigeons. Couldn't resist the name, of course. It's Australian.
Monday, February 11, 2008
The Pod People Have Stolen My Kids!
We went to the mall yesterday, an act that surely shaved at least ten years off my Purgatory. I purely despise the mall, especially on the weekend, but the kids needed some new shoes. After we struck out at a couple of other places, the darling Czech Pecker and I reluctantly trudged toward The Mall with all of the enthusiasm of French nobility toward the guillotine.
Kids Foot Locker was a painful experience. Crowded, did not have the sizes we needed. However, J.P. did come away with one pair of shoes. After a bit more searching, Rebekah found a pair. And then we grabbed a bite to eat.
Where do the Pod People come in, you ask? Throughout the entire afternoon, J.P. and Rebekah BEHAVED! They did not fight each other, they were huggy and kissy with the Czech Pecker and me, they did not fuss when we said we were there to buy shoes only and not a bunch of other things, like webkinz. We had some intelligent conversations with them, They were sweethearts.
This morning, when I took them to school, this behaviour continued. THAT is the scary part. My kids, especially my daughter, are not morning people. However, we left early enough to make a Starbucks stop where they chose some juice and banana loaf bread (Rebekah) and Vanilla pound cake (J.P.), and they chatted all the way to school. Again, no fussing with each other.
The aliens have surely landed. Stay tuned. This afternoon will be telling when I pick them up.
Kids Foot Locker was a painful experience. Crowded, did not have the sizes we needed. However, J.P. did come away with one pair of shoes. After a bit more searching, Rebekah found a pair. And then we grabbed a bite to eat.
Where do the Pod People come in, you ask? Throughout the entire afternoon, J.P. and Rebekah BEHAVED! They did not fight each other, they were huggy and kissy with the Czech Pecker and me, they did not fuss when we said we were there to buy shoes only and not a bunch of other things, like webkinz. We had some intelligent conversations with them, They were sweethearts.
This morning, when I took them to school, this behaviour continued. THAT is the scary part. My kids, especially my daughter, are not morning people. However, we left early enough to make a Starbucks stop where they chose some juice and banana loaf bread (Rebekah) and Vanilla pound cake (J.P.), and they chatted all the way to school. Again, no fussing with each other.
The aliens have surely landed. Stay tuned. This afternoon will be telling when I pick them up.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
A Rose, or Wine, by Any Other Name...
Several days ago, I posed a question on a messageboard where I post regularly. Do you ever buy wine based solely on the name? What I mean is, you're wine shopping, and suddenly a bottle catches your attention, and although you've never tried this particular wine, you just know you have to buy it because of its name or the bottle. Sometimes, you get lucky and you actually end up with a pretty decent wine, too! So, in no particular order, here are some of the wines that came up in our discussion.
1--Fat Bastard--Who could pass this one up? With a name like Fat Bastard, I knew I had to buy this particular Merlot one day. Luck was on my side, too, because it's a pretty good Merlot. I understand from some friends that the Fat Bastard Shiraz is good, too.
2--Barking Sheep--I just came across this one a few days ago. It's from Argentina, and it has a label with a picture of a sheep holding a sign that says, "Beware of the Sheep." The first thing that came to my mind was the old Monty Python Flying Circus episode where they are trying to teach the sheep to fly! Barking sheep...I nearly laughed out loud and knew I had to buy it. I haven't tried it yet, so we'll see if it lives up to its name.
3--Menage a tois--I saw this one, and although I didn't buy it...mainly because I already had ten bottles of wine in my cart, and one more may have pushed me over the edge and labeled me as an official alcoholic, I think I will be going back in the near future to purchase this. Who could pass on a good Menage a Tois? Wine, that is.
4--Mad Housewife--I think the name says it all. I need to find some place that sells this one. On those days when the darling Czech Pecker and the spawns of Satan are getting on my last nerve, this would be the one to pull out. Better yet, I could put this one in a flask to carry with my for those emergency nervous breakdown moments.
5--Old Tart--My English friend, Sali, mentioned this one. I love the name! I need to go to the liquor store/wine shop that carries a large international variety to see if I can find this one.
6--Toasted Head--Sounds vaguely cannibalistic, doesn't it? I saw this Chardonnay a few days ago and picked it up. It has a picture of a bear on the label. We'll see how it is. As a rule, I'm not much of a white wine drinker, preferring the reds, but once in a blue moon, I enjoy a change.
7--Royal Bitch--I NEED to find this one. It screams my name.
8--7 Deadly Zins--This is another one that I totally need to find.
9--Smoking Loon--I haven't bought this one, but I've seen it and considered it. The label has a loon on it smoking a cigar. Smoking birds are really cool, you know!
It looks like I have a lot of wine to try. I guess it's a good thing I didn't give it up for Lent!
1--Fat Bastard--Who could pass this one up? With a name like Fat Bastard, I knew I had to buy this particular Merlot one day. Luck was on my side, too, because it's a pretty good Merlot. I understand from some friends that the Fat Bastard Shiraz is good, too.
2--Barking Sheep--I just came across this one a few days ago. It's from Argentina, and it has a label with a picture of a sheep holding a sign that says, "Beware of the Sheep." The first thing that came to my mind was the old Monty Python Flying Circus episode where they are trying to teach the sheep to fly! Barking sheep...I nearly laughed out loud and knew I had to buy it. I haven't tried it yet, so we'll see if it lives up to its name.
3--Menage a tois--I saw this one, and although I didn't buy it...mainly because I already had ten bottles of wine in my cart, and one more may have pushed me over the edge and labeled me as an official alcoholic, I think I will be going back in the near future to purchase this. Who could pass on a good Menage a Tois? Wine, that is.
4--Mad Housewife--I think the name says it all. I need to find some place that sells this one. On those days when the darling Czech Pecker and the spawns of Satan are getting on my last nerve, this would be the one to pull out. Better yet, I could put this one in a flask to carry with my for those emergency nervous breakdown moments.
5--Old Tart--My English friend, Sali, mentioned this one. I love the name! I need to go to the liquor store/wine shop that carries a large international variety to see if I can find this one.
6--Toasted Head--Sounds vaguely cannibalistic, doesn't it? I saw this Chardonnay a few days ago and picked it up. It has a picture of a bear on the label. We'll see how it is. As a rule, I'm not much of a white wine drinker, preferring the reds, but once in a blue moon, I enjoy a change.
7--Royal Bitch--I NEED to find this one. It screams my name.
8--7 Deadly Zins--This is another one that I totally need to find.
9--Smoking Loon--I haven't bought this one, but I've seen it and considered it. The label has a loon on it smoking a cigar. Smoking birds are really cool, you know!
It looks like I have a lot of wine to try. I guess it's a good thing I didn't give it up for Lent!
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