Okay, it is very possible to argue that I already live at the Funny Farm. Indeed, I am the CEO!
The darling Czech Pecker ended up back in the hospital last week...after a whole 2 days home...and he ended up needing surgery again last Saturday. He is most likely going to be in the hospital for another week to two weeks. NOT FUN...for any of us, but least of all for him. We are thinking of setting up a nice little vacation home at St. Francis. It could work, you know.
As for myself, the Appalachian Witch must go for a sleep study (dramatic musical interlude). It seems that I may have sleep apnea. Oh joy. I understand that they put all of this junk in your hair in order to attach electrodes to the scalp. The whole idea is to measure brain waves during sleep. I have news for them...I'm not entirely certain there is anything to measure! I'm thinking of shaving my head to avoid the need to wash my hair 100 times to get all of the junk out after the study...
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
The Witch is a Mother to a Teen-Ager!
Well, holy flying crap monkeys! When did THAT happen?! In all of the "excitement" around here with the darling Czech Pecker in the hospital and all, I completely forgot to write about the fact that my oldest spawn, Rebekah, turned 13 last Friday! Please note: I did not forget her birthday, and we did celebrate it...I just forgot to write about it.
Poor kid. We were supposed to go out of town to celebrate, but Plan A had to be discarded when her dad went into the hospital. Now, there is a way to celebrate one's thirteenth birthday..."Oh, I was at the hospital."
The rest of the family took her out to eat for lunch, and then she wanted to go see Eclipse. For her, it was the third time she's been to see it since it came out...the week before...
Wow. It seems like yesterday that the darling Czech Pecker and I went to the hospital, listening to the song "Hell" by Squirrel Nut Zipper. No, really...we did have that song playing! Then, a couple of days later, we brought her home...a little fluffy baby girl with a BIG mouth. Now, she's a little fluffy teen girl with a BIG mouth!
The Boy will be 11 in October. Help us. Please.
Poor kid. We were supposed to go out of town to celebrate, but Plan A had to be discarded when her dad went into the hospital. Now, there is a way to celebrate one's thirteenth birthday..."Oh, I was at the hospital."
The rest of the family took her out to eat for lunch, and then she wanted to go see Eclipse. For her, it was the third time she's been to see it since it came out...the week before...
Wow. It seems like yesterday that the darling Czech Pecker and I went to the hospital, listening to the song "Hell" by Squirrel Nut Zipper. No, really...we did have that song playing! Then, a couple of days later, we brought her home...a little fluffy baby girl with a BIG mouth. Now, she's a little fluffy teen girl with a BIG mouth!
The Boy will be 11 in October. Help us. Please.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
An Appalachian Witch Needs Her City Boy Warlock
Or in other words, the darling Czech Pecker has been suffering from flare-ups of Crohn's Disease, and it's taking him away from me for periods of time when he is either hospitalized or even when he's home but in bed sick. In bed...not bad in itself...but in bed sick is most definitely not a good thing!
It's one of those things where I cannot help but ask why the darling Czech Pecker, of all people, has to suffer from such a nasty disease. I mean, he's one of the good ones. To be honest, I think he's a much better person than I am. I'm a temperamental witch, after all!
The technical answer is that this is a genetic disease, much more common in people of Jewish ancestry than in non-Jewish. Hmmmm, the darling Czech Pecker may be a Roman Catholic, but I have a strong feeling that his ancestors hanging out in Eastern Europe may have been Jewish and decided that it was better to "lose [their] skullcap than [their] skull." (Okay, Mel Brooks...now I'm going to be singing "The Inquisition" all night!) Hmmmm....Should I start keeping a kosher household for my Czech?
With our family being...well, us,...we've found our amusing moments. For example...THE FLARP. What is Flarp, you may ask? Good question. Flarp comes in a little plastic container, and it has the consistency of play-doh. There is one BIG difference between the two, however. Flarp makes noise when you play with it and smash it back into the container. You can imagine, with a name like Flarp what that noise is. And it is loud. During the darling Czech Pecker's first hospitalization back in April, Thing 1 and Thing 2 carried containers of Flarp to the hospital to visit their dear dad. Let's just say that if anyone, nursing staff or otherwise, happened to be passing by the room during this time, they were probably feeling for the poor man in that room, and they were probably swearing NOT to enter the room, especially with a lighter in hand.
My children do make me laugh, when they aren't sending me screaming for the nearest psych ward.
In the meantime, this is one Appalachian Witch who would gladly take her big city man's place if she could.
It's one of those things where I cannot help but ask why the darling Czech Pecker, of all people, has to suffer from such a nasty disease. I mean, he's one of the good ones. To be honest, I think he's a much better person than I am. I'm a temperamental witch, after all!
The technical answer is that this is a genetic disease, much more common in people of Jewish ancestry than in non-Jewish. Hmmmm, the darling Czech Pecker may be a Roman Catholic, but I have a strong feeling that his ancestors hanging out in Eastern Europe may have been Jewish and decided that it was better to "lose [their] skullcap than [their] skull." (Okay, Mel Brooks...now I'm going to be singing "The Inquisition" all night!) Hmmmm....Should I start keeping a kosher household for my Czech?
With our family being...well, us,...we've found our amusing moments. For example...THE FLARP. What is Flarp, you may ask? Good question. Flarp comes in a little plastic container, and it has the consistency of play-doh. There is one BIG difference between the two, however. Flarp makes noise when you play with it and smash it back into the container. You can imagine, with a name like Flarp what that noise is. And it is loud. During the darling Czech Pecker's first hospitalization back in April, Thing 1 and Thing 2 carried containers of Flarp to the hospital to visit their dear dad. Let's just say that if anyone, nursing staff or otherwise, happened to be passing by the room during this time, they were probably feeling for the poor man in that room, and they were probably swearing NOT to enter the room, especially with a lighter in hand.
My children do make me laugh, when they aren't sending me screaming for the nearest psych ward.
In the meantime, this is one Appalachian Witch who would gladly take her big city man's place if she could.
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