Sunday, July 11, 2010

An Appalachian Witch Needs Her City Boy Warlock

Or in other words, the darling Czech Pecker has been suffering from flare-ups of Crohn's Disease, and it's taking him away from me for periods of time when he is either hospitalized or even when he's home but in bed sick. In bed...not bad in itself...but in bed sick is most definitely not a good thing!

It's one of those things where I cannot help but ask why the darling Czech Pecker, of all people, has to suffer from such a nasty disease. I mean, he's one of the good ones. To be honest, I think he's a much better person than I am. I'm a temperamental witch, after all!

The technical answer is that this is a genetic disease, much more common in people of Jewish ancestry than in non-Jewish. Hmmmm, the darling Czech Pecker may be a Roman Catholic, but I have a strong feeling that his ancestors hanging out in Eastern Europe may have been Jewish and decided that it was better to "lose [their] skullcap than [their] skull." (Okay, Mel Brooks...now I'm going to be singing "The Inquisition" all night!) Hmmmm....Should I start keeping a kosher household for my Czech?

With our family being...well, us,...we've found our amusing moments. For example...THE FLARP. What is Flarp, you may ask? Good question. Flarp comes in a little plastic container, and it has the consistency of play-doh. There is one BIG difference between the two, however. Flarp makes noise when you play with it and smash it back into the container. You can imagine, with a name like Flarp what that noise is. And it is loud. During the darling Czech Pecker's first hospitalization back in April, Thing 1 and Thing 2 carried containers of Flarp to the hospital to visit their dear dad. Let's just say that if anyone, nursing staff or otherwise, happened to be passing by the room during this time, they were probably feeling for the poor man in that room, and they were probably swearing NOT to enter the room, especially with a lighter in hand.

My children do make me laugh, when they aren't sending me screaming for the nearest psych ward.

In the meantime, this is one Appalachian Witch who would gladly take her big city man's place if she could.

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