The Dog Clones

I just read an article that strikes me as so wrong on so many levels that I just don't know where to start. It seems that there is a company in South Korea that is touting itself as the first successful canine cloning service, and their first success is a litter of Booger's puppies. Okay, after I got over my inner 12-year-old snickering over sentences in that article like, "Booger is back" and "...when she saw the cloned Boogers...," I started thinking about the ways in which this struck me as wrong, and without going into a detailed theological, moral, and ethical discussion here, my main thoughts were, not necessarily in this order:

1--Isn't this a bit like playing God?
2--Even if one is not prone to religious belief, there is still the question of whether the cloned animal is identical to the original. Sure, its DNA is identical, but what about the dog's spirit? There is no way to clone that. If I decided to clone Dougal or Sitka, I might end up with puppies that LOOK identical to Dougal and Sitka, but they wouldn't really BE Dougal and Sitka. They would not possess the same spirit and soul as Dougal and Sitka.
3--It's just messing with the natural order of things. I still miss my dear pets who have passed on, but cloning them would not bring them back. See #2.
4--What would St. Francis of Assisi say?
5--The woman paid $50,000 to clone Booger. Think of how much GOOD that money could have done, in Booger's memory, to any number of shelters. Booger was a Pit bull. She could have rescued a Pit bull or three, and given the money to Pit bull rescue.

Well, I suppose it's her money to dispose of however she wishes, but it strikes me as so delusional. And I thought I was bad over my pets!

Today's Parenting Tip from the Mountain Witch and Her Darling Czech Pecker: Well, since I'm on the subject of animals, I suppose I'll go in that direction. I think a lot of people will agree with me that kids and pets just belong together. Sometimes, I'll hear stories of major asshattery from friends and acquaintances who work or have worked in cat and dog rescue of people who are ready to turn that beloved and loyal furry companion in to a shelter as soon as the EPT test comes back with two lines indicating that a human baby will be joining the family. Suddenly, Kitty or Fido are no longer considered important members of the family. In my opinion, this is a heinous way to act and lowers one's human dignity. While I understand that circumstances may arise once the baby is here that necessitate finding a new GOOD home for Kitty or Fido, such as discovering the baby has severe allergies, merely finding out that one is knocked up is not good enough. Kitty and Fido can be prepared for the new addition, and they often make superb older "siblings." When I found out I was expecting my oldest spawn of Satan, Rebekah, and I started to show, my cat, Boo Kitty, who had always slept at the foot of our bed, suddenly started sleeping curled up next to my abdomen. He seemed to sense what was happening. He was fascinated with Rebekah once she arrived, and he loved to spend time with her...until she opened her mouth to wail. Then he would take off like a bat out of hell to hide under the bed or in a closet. Many were the days that I desired to join him.

At any rate, my mom now raises Siberian Huskies, and I have several of the snow dogs myself. My snow dogs are all spayed and neutered, but my mom breeds hers. They are not cloned, either! As you might imagine, life becomes quite lively at her house, especially around whelping time or when any of the females go into heat. And THIS is what brings up my main topic for today...what my kids, now 11 and nearly 9, have witnessed. I know a few folks who are very strict and think it would be "inappropriate" and "gross" to allow their precious darlings to witness a female dog giving birth. It brings up any number of questions, don't you know. However, my children have asked to be present, and yes, I have allowed it. And you know what? Not only are they not scarred from the experience, they have benefitted from helping out in numerous ways, by running errands for my mom, by getting fresh water for the laboring mom, and if a newborn puppy crawls too far away from its mama, by helping it get closer to its food source. Husky moms are very gentle, and they know us well, so they allow us to handle their pups, even from the beginning. The kids know how to handle the newborn pups as well as we adults do.

This has been a learning experience for the children, a chance to witness furry little miracles, to see the not-so-clean-and-pretty beginning and to appreciate the instincts and innate intelligence of the dogs we raise and love so very well. It adds another dimension to the kids' appreciation for the Huskies.

And as for the mating part, have they witnessed that? Well, yes, but it wasn't intentional. It's not like we said, "Hey kids! Let's go watch Prancer and Maya get it on!" Dogs, as we know, are not so particular about where they do the nasty. It's not as if they plan it out, deciding to rent a hotel room or anything. The male senses the female in heat, the female swishes her tale to lure the male to her, and then...well, you can guess the rest. Two of my mom's dogs, Prancer and Tasha, seem to have the exhibitionist streak in them. They will wait until they are OUTSIDE of the kennel, in the main yard, go down by the fence next to the road, then hook up, where anyone driving by can see them. So, as you can imagine, the kids have seen it. The first time J.P. saw this, he couldn't stop laughing, he said it looked so funny.

I agree. It IS rather funny business. And while I didn't add this thought to him, it's really quite a funny business for humans, too, when you stop and think about it!

I'm a Loser!

And that makes me very happy. Why, you ask? Because I have lost two dress sizes since the beginning of the summer! At this rate, I WILL make my goal of reaching my pre-pregnancy size before my 40th birthday in December! Two more sizes to go...Yippeeeee! And that has been without regular exercise. Since Summer and I don't get along, I tend to skip the exercise routine during the hot season and pick up again in Fall. I'm buying some new running shoes this weekend and will soon start running with my Huskies and working on my muscle tone. I will be hitting my 40s as a Fabulous Fruitcake rather than a fat one!

Parenting Tip of the Day from the Witch and the Darling Czech Pecker: Let's talk about language, and I'm not talking about English, Spanish, French, Russian...yes, we're talking about *whisper* cussing. Okay, I know that the darling Czech Pecker and I have a tendency to let fly with some colorful language at times. Now, I'm not going to say that it's right or wrong, it just IS. As a result, as you might imagine, the Spawns of Satan have picked up a phrase or two along the way. At first, we worked mightily to discourage it, and then it hit us...wow, how hypocritical to tell them not to say it when we still said things like, "what a dumbass!" (that's the darling Czech Pecker in traffic) or "well, shit fire and save the matches!" (that's me at just about anything). So, the logical thing was for us to try not to say such things, and that worked to a certain extent, but only so much.

I know what most people would say. The darling Czech Pecker and I are ADULTS and the Spawn are CHILDREN. I know, I know. But we are, after all, a most unconventional family, as most people have by now realized. And our Spawn, for all their faults--and they are many--know one thing: what they say and do at home does not necessarily transfer to what they say and do out in public and at school. So while I receive excellent reports from their teachers, and I've had people in restaurants commend me on my well-behaved children, The Lazurek Funny Farm at home often sounds like an episode of The Osbournes. Okay, maybe not THAT bad because we aren't as fond of the "f" bomb as they are. Our favorites tend to be "dumbass," "asswipe," "bunghole," "ass monkey," "bitch fit,"...okay, you get the picture.

One day in school in 1st grade, J.P. DID tell his teacher, during a discussion of the Ten Commandments, that his sister calls him "shit head" when she's mad at him and that he believes there is a commandment against that. His teacher had to turn her back to keep from bursting out laughing. And no, there is not a commandment against calling your brother a shit head when you're angry at him. I looked it up. In fact, there seems to be nothing in the Scriptures against cussing, so it's solely a social thing. I don't thing we're doomed to Hades or anything. At least for that...

The Countdown Begins...

Wow, it has crept up on me, but it is nearly time for school to start. Can we all say YAY?! Three weeks from today, J.P. returns to school, starting the 3rd grade, and 3 weeks from Wednesday, Rebekah will begin her middle school career. We did our school supply shopping this past weekend. We are now set with uniforms, books, and school supplies. Now, if only the weather would realize that we are moving closer to Fall and start to cool down.

Let me tell you, school cannot start too soon for me. J.P. is trying to turn the living room into a combination tool room/storage room for God-knows-what. He also just got a stuffed parrot that repeats what you say in a high pitched voice, almost like it has sucked a helium balloon. He delights in holding this thing up to everyone and the TV so it can repeat things. Oh, and he named the parrot Turd. He carries Turd everywhere so Turd can speak. Turd is about to drive me insane. Earlier today, I threatened to kick Turd's ass. Turd squawked back at me, in a perfect, high-pitched Kentucky accent, "I'm gonna kick yer ass! I'm gonna kick yer ass!"

PARENTING TIP OF THE DAY FROM THE WITCH AND THE DARLING CZECH PECKER: Sometimes, survival as a parent depends on a well-stocked wine bar and liquor cabinet.

Is Summer Over Yet?

We are inching ever closer to the start of the school year, and I am anxiously crossing the days of summer off my calendar. Have I mentioned that I hate hot weather?

For the most part, our summer treks are over, and I'm working on The List. The List is that endless stuff to buy, uniforms to go through and see what needs to be replaced, school supply lists to purchase, things to organize in the house to make homework sessions as easy and painless as possible...

I really would love to just spend the remainder of the summer in hibernation, but ALAS! That is not to be.

This evening, we have a meeting at St. Joseph's for student athletes, so I suppose the fall is approaching. If only the weather would cooperate!

PARENTING TIP OF THE DAY FROM THE WITCH AND THE DARLING CZECH PECKER: I will start my parenting "tips" with this bit that really forms the foundation of everything else that the darling Czech Pecker and I do to put the "fun" in our dysfunctional family unit! Boundaries. We all know about boundaries, especially those of us who are parents. Setting boundaries sounds easier than it actually is, and if you've ever tried reasoning with a stubborn spawn of Satan, then you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Have you ever heard the phrase, "pick your battles" when it comes to parenting? Well, we learned about that pretty early in dealing with the bratlets. As a result, we've developed a philosophy of fluid boundaries. Basically, the boundaries we've set are firm when it comes to issues of safety and health. No, we won't let them play in traffic, no matter how much they might beg. However, other issues are up for negotiation. That doesn't necessarily mean that they will get their way in everything. Compromise is a big word in our household. Needless to say, there is generally a good deal of lively conversation and bargaining going on, but hey...it makes things interesting!

A Tale of our Trip, in Pictures

So, our trip started out in Connecticut, where we attended a family reunion, as I mentioned earlier. That Saturday evening, we went out to a restaurant in West Haven called Jimmies. It's right on Long Island Sound, and after dinner, we out on the beach area where the kids enjoyed collecting shells and playing around. Incidentally, we did not suddenly gain a third child. Taylor is my cousin from Kentucky who happily joined us on our trip. She and Rebekah are the same age. We were thrilled to have her along, and I hope the Lazurek Funny Farm didn't frighten her too much!

Taylor and Rebekah pose on the beach. Rebekah looks kind of drunk, I know, but I promise that I've not been allowing underage drinking. She just looks that way a lot of the time! I blame it on pre-teen girlie-girl temporary loss of practical brain cells.

The darling Czech Pecker walking out on the jetty with J.P. and Taylor.

The same jetty. The darling Czech Pecker, J.P., Taylor, and Rebekah walking out. You can see the darling Czech Pecker's grey hair in this picture. He likes to blame it on me, but I think it's all that Eastern European Existentialism getting to him.

Sunday arrived, and it was time to go into the City. We took the train from Stratford, CT.

J.P., Taylor, and Rebekah at the train station in Stratford. I can't remember exactly WHY J.P. had an attitude at the time, but really, does he have to have a reason?

Taylor and Rebekah on the train. Notice that Rebekah STILL has the drunk look on her face!

Grand Central Station! Taylor, Rebekah, Bob (Granddaddy to the kids!), and J.P. This photo was actually taken at the END of the day...note that the girls already have their American Girl dolls. We can explain Rebekah's drunk look that way, then. Not on the dolls...on the fact that it was the end of the day.

Taylor, Rebekah, and J.P. at Grand Central Station.

Of course, if you are a pre-teen girl, no trip to New York is complete without spending an inordinate amount of time in American Girl and then having lunch in the Cafe there. Rebekah decided that she wanted a plethora of American Girl stuff for her birthday from us, so we headed straight for there.

In these photos taken in the American Girl Cafe, you will note Taylor with her new doll, Ruthie, and Rebekah with her new dolls, Kaya and Julie. Yes, Rebekah DOES look drunk! However, I am the one who had a Bellini to drink because after two hours of traipsing up and down three stories of a crowded store, I desperately needed either that or a Xanax. J.P. shows what he really thinks of the whole thing, but being a boy, he finds ways to amuse himself.

Our next stop was St. Patrick's Cathedral. This was more up J.P.'s alley since he is John PATRICK, and St. Patrick is one of his patron saints.

Above, an outside view of St. Pat's; the girls dress their American Girl dolls on the steps outside of St. Pat's--in the background, J.P. is showing something to the darling Czech Pecker; inside of St. Pat's, J.P., Rebekah, and Taylor.

On Monday, we cruised through Central Park, checking out the sights there. I was on a quest for the statue of Balto!

And I found him!

Dedication to the sled dogs who ran the medicine to Nome

Taylor, J.P., and Rebekah pose with Balto

J.P., Taylor, and Rebekah posing in front of the statue of another of my heroes, Shakespeare! None of them were thrilled or impressed.

A red tail hawk with its prey, a squirrel, in Central Park

We also had to go to the top of the Empire State Building and see what kind of view we could get from there.

The New York skyline from the top of the Empire State Building.

The United Nations Building. It's the silvery rectangular building in the center, on this side of the river.

A hazy, fuzzy view of the Statue of Liberty

A pigeon perching just a few inches from me!

And there you go, a short photo diary of our short visit to New York. I wish I had taken some more pictures, but we were so busy trying to keep up with the kids and herd them through the streets. I felt kind of like a cattle wrangler or something! We also ended up not having time to go out to Ellis Island as we had originally planned and hoped to do. I would like for the kids to do that because the darling Czech Pecker's great-grandparents came through there. It would be interesting for them to see, and that background is so different from my own, where my family has been here for many thousands of years, some of them, and others for over 300 years. Maybe on a future trip...

New Yorkers and Their Dogs

One thing that impressed me about New York and more specifically, New Yorkers, was their attitude toward their dogs. I mean, there are people walking their dogs everywhere there. All sorts of dogs. Big dogs, little dogs, purebred dogs, mixed breed dogs, dogs in purses, dogs on leashes...I'm starting to sound like a Dr. Seuss book now. Seriously, though, in a lot of the larger cities I've visited, dogs are popular to a certain extent, but a lot of people who are apartment dwellers tend to either have no pets, cats, or small dogs.

And they go into stores with their dogs, and it's quite okay! Now THAT is what I liked. Being a dog lover, it was quite okay to brush up against a Black Lab in the Wal-Green's in the lobby of the Empire State Building or to stand next to a German Shepherd mix in Grand Central Station. I can't help but compare that to an incident that I saw take place here in Grinchville, South Carolina a few months ago at a local Wal-Mart.

Now, we ALL know that Wal-Mart is far from the ultimate shopping experience. It's more like the shopping equivalent of Dante's lowest level of Hell. One day, this woman needed to run in for just a moment to grab something, and she had a small dog, a puppy, with her. Naturally, she did not want to leave her baby in the car. Keep in mind, it was a PUPPY, and a small breed, at that. I think maybe a Shih Tzu or Maltese...something small and cute and furry. THE ASSHOLE MANAGER WOULD NOT LET HER TAKE IT IN! I mean, she was not going to put the puppy down on the floor to run around...she told him that, and that she was only going to be a few minutes. And he still would not let her take her puppy in there. As I told a friend of mine, I'm more offended by most of the clientele there, especially some of the kids, than I am by a dog. Then again, I like dogs better than I like most people.

I will say a good thing about the local Hobby Lobby, though. I had to run in there one day to grab a couple of things for a mosaic I was working on, and I had Sitka with me. She's one of my Huskies, and she was all of about three months old at the time. I carried her in with me since I didn't want to leave her in the car, and everyone who worked there made over her like she was a baby! One person did ask me if she was a wolf pup, though! That made me laugh.

COMING SOON TO THE WITCH'S BLOG! Parenting tips, Appalachian Witchy Style! When we were at the family reunion in Connecticut, the darling Czech Pecker and I were talking to one of his cousins, Kara, who also has two children, both girls, around the same age as our own two Spawns of Satan. We were talking about parenting styles, things we've seen other people do that we thought were too strict, what we do that might seem a bit unconventional to some, etc. Kara suggested to me that I put some of our parenting style stuff on my blog, so I will be doing just that. I just hope that nobody from the South Carolina Department of Social Services will be reading it. At any rate, I haven't decided yet if I am going to do it as a single blog entry where I lay it all out there at once, or if I will do it as part of a daily "tip" a little at a time at the end of each blog entry. When some of my brain cells settle back down in a day or two, I'll figure it out.

So, I'm STILL trying to play catch-up here. It's been kind of hard because the kids want to do this and that, go swimming, yada yada yada. I will upload my vacation photos tomorrow so I can do a photo blog entry, complete with my usual smart ass captions. That is, as soon as I run my errands to the school uniform store, to the pet supply store, to Target, to print some photos out, and so on...

Back in South Carolina...boo hoo

We made it back late yesterday afternoon, welcomed by the heat and humidity. Ugh.

I will soon be uploading my photos. We spent part of Monday in Central Park, and I found one of my religious shrines--the statue of Balto!

The darling Czech Pecker has promised me a trip this fall sans children. He asked if I wanted to go to Boston or back to New York. It was a hard decision since I love Boston, too, but I think I want to head back to New York. I am looking forward to doing everything that I want to do!