The Funny Farm Descends Upon Manhattan

And I have the pictures to prove it, but I have to upload them. And quite frankly, I'm too dang tired right now to deal with that. We came Up North on Friday afternoon for a family reunion in Connecticut on the darling Czech Pecker's side of the family. That event was yesterday, hosted by my father-in-law with help from one of the cousins, Kara. It was a fantastic event, and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. My footprints are probably still imprinted on the floor leading to the bar where Tony the bartender made some killer cosmos!

And today, we took the train from Stratford into New York. I will detail more of our trip later when I am not on the verge of falling over my keyboard. Plus, there is going to be a repeat tomorrow, and New York will be seeing The Funny Farm once again, so I need my Smartass Sleep!

Just a couple of quick notes to record a couple of my impressions, though:

1--Fifth Avenue could easily be my favorite street in America now. Sephora, book stores, St. Patrick's Cathedral...I mean, all of my needs--beauty, intellectual, and spiritual--all met on ONE street!

2--American Girl New York should really like us now after the money we spent there today.

3--After only 4 hours in the City, a couple of guys in Times Square asked us where American Girl was when they saw us carrying the bags. I was able to give them the address and directions better than the darling Czech Pecker, who has spent time in NYC before, and this was my first time in Manhattan.

4--What is up with the myth about rude New Yorkers? I found the staff in the shops and restaurants to be helpful and pleasant. On the street, the people walk quickly to get places, they're straight-forward, and it's a fast-paced atmosphere, but I have found nothing intimidating or rude about it in the least. Atlanta is scarier than New York.

That's it for the evening. More later!

Happy Birthday, Mini-Me!

Rebekah, my mini-me, is 11 years old today, speeding ever closer to the teen years. Believe me, it's obvious by her sassy mouth. It seems like just yesterday that my mom, the darling Czech Pecker, and I were on our way to St. Joseph's Women's Hospital in Tampa, Florida, listening to the song "Hell" by Squirrel, Nut, Zipper. Boy, was that ever a fitting song. Not for the labor and delivery, mind you, but for the years following. Delivering a kid is the easy part. Raising it, however, will send a person screaming for the nearest liquor store or the funny farm, whichever is closest!

Seriously, though, she's a cute little mini-me, and most of the time the darling Czech Pecker and I enjoy her smart-ass attitude toward life. It is so much like ours, you see. She's funny, insightful, and not overly tolerant of ostentation or pretension. She makes us laugh. We are thrilled to have the little bratlet in our lives!

So, happy birthday Rebekah Elizabeth Lazurek!

My Old Kentucky Home

Sooooo, I have been hanging out in my home state this past week, and it is with great reluctance that I will be heading back to South Carolina, Home of the Uptight and Self-Righteous, tomorrow afternoon.

This particular adventure began last Tuesday morning. The kids, two of the dogs--Mojo and Skyy--and I piled into the B.A.T. mobile and headed over the mountains. We sang along to some Johnny Cash through Asheville, we blasted some U2 while going through the area affectionately referred to as The Gorge. And it's a good thing we had the music to occupy us then because it was about that time that Mojo developed gas. J.P. had fed him some BBQ potato chips earlier. Husky flatulence is bad enough. Add BBQ potato chips and you have a potentially lethal situation. I'm telling you now, I would not be surprised if Mojo farts are still trapped in that valley area between mountains near the North Carolina-Tennessee state line. If you are travelling I-40 through there and smell something frightening, don't say I didn't warn you.

Last Friday, my dad and I went and got inked, proving that old adage true, the family that gets tattoos together, stays together. Okay, maybe it's not really an old adage, but it should be. A redneck adage, at least. Anyway, I will have to post pictures later because I don't have my cord with me that connects the camera to the computer. His is military related, and I got a cross with a Rosary draped over it. My mom is now wanting one, a Husky, naturally!

The darling Czech Pecker is not left out of all of this. Because of his schedule, he did not come up until Friday morning, and he went back Sunday evening. He shocked the bejeezus out of me by getting a tattoo, also. Okay, now we're starting to sound like a version of Family Ink or something! Anyway, Friday evening being the 4th of July, it was fireworks time. In true redneck fashion, up here on the hill, there was a competition between ours and some guy over the hill. Shouts of "incoming!" were heard--mainly from my dad--and booms and sparks were flying everywhere. At least nobody spoke and/or heard the words, "hey y'all, hold my drink and watch this!" You know there is going to be trouble when you hear THAT in a redneck venue.

Today, we're heading out to the park for a birthday celebration for Rebekah, who will be 11 tomorrow. My mom came up on Sunday to visit her family, and a group will be meeting out at the park this afternoon. Tomorrow, it's back to Grinchville for a couple of days before we head out again, this time to Connecticut and New York.

Alas, Poor Yorick!

No, Horatio, I didn't know him, but I think I can guess what killed him. He really should have stayed away from the cigs.

A friend from a messageboard that I frequent noted that one would think Buddy Christ would have given him some help. I think Buddy Christ has been busy turning my water into wine, though, especially of the Spanish variety!

Yes, I think the heat has finally gone to my brain and fried it. The good news, however, is that Friday was the Summer Solstice, and that means that from here on out for the remainder of the summer, the days grow shorter. And that means I can start counting down the days to a nice Fall with cool weather where I can spend time outdoors basking in the crisp air and surrounded by glorious colours. Ah, cool weather, how I love thee!

More About Summer

I've decided that some animals have it backwards. You know how bears and some other animals actually hibernate during the winter? I am going to petition for my right to hibernate during the summer because I FREAKIN' HATE THE HEAT! There. I feel better now that I screamed that. Now, where is that bag of frozen asparagus that I had on my neck in my attempt to cool down?

It's not ALL bad news around here. I have actually LOST weight! Don't ask me how much in terms of pounds because I don't own a set of scales so I never know my exact weight until I go to the doctor. Even then, I try to hide my eyes. No, I go by how my clothing fits, and I am happy to say that some pants that started out only slightly loose 3 weeks ago nearly landed around my ankles as I was walking across a parking lot a few days ago. While this would have been a rather embarrassing situation had it actually happened, and I probably would have scared the wits out of anyone who may have witnessed it, I am happy to place several more outfits into my charity box. Today, I am wearing a pair of shorts that, two years ago I couldn't wear at all, and three weeks ago were uncomfortably tight. Today, they are slightly loose. But the best part? My face is getting thinner! Yay! I really need to change my picture soon.

I'm also anxiously waiting for a bag that I ordered from Bolsa Bonita. I am a handbag and tote ho, so when a friend from a message board that I am on frequently posted about her bags at Bolsa Bonita, I gave into the temptation and browsed. And purchased. I bought the Lady of Guadalupe satchel. I cannot wait for its arrival! I also have my eyes on several other designs, including a delicious hipster with a Dia de los Muertos theme and a cute handbag in stunning colours with camels and the Sphinx on it.

Honestly, books or handbags...I don't know which one is going to get me into more trouble!

Welcome, Summer

It's official...summer is here. The kids made the Honor Roll, and that proves that they do, indeed, have brains. I wonder sometimes, but there is the proof. We've already hit the pool a couple of times, and my skin is starting to turn toasty tan. I may be lighter than some of my family, but I thank the Genetic Gods who passed on the ability to at least look darker than the wife of the Pillsbury Dough Boy.

In other news, the darling Czech Pecker and I have been driving all over the area, contributing to the profits of the Great Oil Barons, searching out areas where we might want to purchase a few acres for The Funny Farm and The Dog Pack. We've narrowed it down to a couple of places, and, God and the real estate market willing, we will be putting a down payment down in August and hopefully will be out of this house and have it up for sale soon after that! We have a lot of work ahead of us, but I am really excited about the prospect of moving and building a new place.

Tomorrow, we have a small family reunion happening here in town! We have some cousins from Kentucky and from Germany meeting here, and we are getting together for a picnic. This will be the first time we've met the German side in person. It's always fun meeting new family. Hopefully, we won't scare the bejeesus out of them!

PRAY FOR ME!

Time to start the Litany of Patron Saints of Crazy Mothers...it's the last FULL day of school, then it's time to start summer vacation. After a short day tomorrow, I will officially start the countdown until the start of the next school year.

Okay, it's not THAT bad. Admittedly, summer is not my favorite season, but that has more to do with the weather. Heat and I don't get along very well. Of the two brothers, Snow Miser is definitely the one I prefer. Wouldn't you know that Global Warming would have to happen in my lifetime. Just my luck! Naturally, this means that the kids clamor to go to the pool EVERY SINGLE DAY. I believe that Rebekah might be part mermaid, and I keep looking for signs that she's growing fins and gills.

I believe in looking at the bright side, though. Our pool is not crowded, and it has a shaded area where I can sit and read in peace. The kids are both good swimmers, the pool has a full-time lifeguard, and from my vantage point, I can still keep an eye on them. I am SO happy that they are no longer so young that I have to stay right beside them the entire time. Life can be good!

In other news, I am seriously considering formally studying Theology. Keep on the lookout for signs of the Apocalypse!